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LOGGING ON FOR LOVE

The proliferation of websites and dating apps has not necessarily been a good thing. I know quite a few people who have found love through OKCupid and Tinder — marriage, in a couple of cases — but I know far more who have been on two or three dates with nice people who have drifted and disappeared after a promising start. The rise of Tinder as the default platform has especially increased the speed and volume of choosing and rejecting.

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Once we read long-form profiles. Now we maniacally, obsessively screen candidates in milliseconds. For example, you could find out if the man you went on a date with last night was looking for other women while you popped to the loo in the middle of dinner he was. I would have met none of them in my local.

It means allowing yourself and your partner a kind of vulnerability that is often regarded as a sign of weakness and a source of fear. Remember the guy who I picked from a catalogue?

In my early days of dating online I reckoned that I should give men a chance if I found their messages tedious but their profiles intriguing. But the ones that I doubted beforehand never turned out to be men I wanted to get to know in person.

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In practice, mutual attraction is not enough: Having this in common with my ami avec des avantages was as important for sustainability, if not more important, than any other measures of compatibility. Last winter I signed up for some gym training.


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Lo and behold, there was an attractive single man of appropriate age in my class. First, he complimented me warmly on my discount Gap leggings. I never saw him again. Many sites now offer personality tests, as well. This can help guide individuals towards those whom they may be better suited for. Additionally, it offers a way to communicate with a potential date before meeting them face-to-face.

Computer-mediated communication can allow for a safe interaction without too much commitment or time consumption. However, online dating does have its downfalls. For many individuals, the choices of potential partners can become overwhelming.

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Personality testing is also a difficult process and cannot always be accurate, so individuals may be dismissing potentially good partners in the process. Communication through computers is also nowhere near as personable as face-to-face interactions.

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This can make it harder to evaluate matches online than in person. Therefore, computer-based interactions may seem artificial and lack emotions.


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  • Overall, online dating can be a great way to meet someone for future in-person meetings.

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