He treated me like a princess.
Missionary (LDS Church)
As we continued to date only each other, my parents became concerned and tried to limit our dating. After all, we had set our own rules and promised not to cross any lines.
My parents started wanting to know where I was every second. Eventually I began to lie about who I was with or where I was. If my parents just understood that, then they would allow us to steady date, because we are surely the exception to the rule. As we entered the fifth month of our relationship, it seemed like true love.
I thought we would continue to date until his mission, and then I would wait for him. I felt betrayed and was devastated.
Good Reasons to Date
How could he have been hiding this from me? I broke off our relationship permanently. I am still amazed how hurt and distraught I was over that breakup. One day it finally all made sense: No one is the exception to the rule. One day I was thinking about those five months, and it finally all made sense: I was still going against what the prophet counsels us to do.
No matter how I looked at it from that moment on, I realized I had knowingly gone against the wishes of my parents, teachers, the prophets, and my Heavenly Father. How had I been able to become so distant from my Heavenly Father? How had I allowed myself to tune out the Spirit for so long and become so close to physical temptations? I began to see every lie that Satan had led me to believe.
It terrified me to know that I had let Satan have so much power over me in those five months. I began to realize other things, including that we are counseled to stay away from steady dating for more than just the purpose of being morally clean.
Waiting for a Missionary
Spirituality cannot, and should not, be judged by a title, be it RM, Elders Quorum president or Relief Society president. Personal spirituality and loyalty to God are the most important attribute and characteristic to look for in your future spouse. Everything in your relationship hinges on this one aspect of their character. If they are not loyal to God, covenants will be broken and heartache will follow.
Rather than judging their spiritual strength off the RM checkbox, find out if they are loyal to God. Ask yourself, do they love Him? Even more than me? Do they honor their covenants and promises?
These are the most important questions. Do not be so concerned about his physical appearance and his bank account that you overlook his more important qualities. Of course, he should be attractive to you, and he should be able to financially provide for you. But, does he have a strong testimony?
Does he live the principles of the gospel and magnify his priesthood? Is he active in his ward and stake? Does he love home and family, and will he be a faithful husband and a good father? These are qualities that really matter.
A few weeks ago, I had a very mediocre temple visit. I was stressed about all of the things on my to-do list and had a nasty headache. Needless to say, by the time I went inside, I felt frazzled.
I drummed my fingers impatiently on my armrest, and when the session ended, I zipped out as fast as I could. Two of those people are my parents. I and my four adult siblings quite suddenly found ourselves with a stepfather, a stepmother, and five new stepsiblings. Feelings like mine, of loss and confusion, are common for adult children of remarrying parents, as are feelings of guilt and frustration from the remarrying parents. We've got you covered! Whether you're looking for a personal journal or a place to write down important milestones, these options are both pretty to look at and fun to write in.
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